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November 11, 2004
Inane
I figure it's time to really try out this guest blogging thing and discover how it feels to post an incredibly moronic entry on the Web.
I think I am going to write a novel some day about a man who eats so many Doritos he gets brain damage. After some risky experimental surgery at a Scandinavian university, he is completely cured, except for one thing. With part of his brain removed, he's now completely incapable of understanding the concept of coincidence. Everything in his life becomes an omen, and his most mundane days now brim with uncanny connections and deep significance. What would his life be like? Would it be richer? Or would he have so much to think about he'd be in a constant state of indecision and paralysis?
Also. Have y'all noticed that matches are just a bit too short? They burn out too quick, or flame up close to your fingers so you have to drop one and light another. My theory is, they were designed this way for soldiers in foxholes. The match can't stay lit enough for a sniper to get a bead on you when you light your cigarrette. So I guess it's a safety feature. But still, in places that aren't so war-torn, I think longer matches might be real handy. If my novel doesn't work out maybe I'll start a matchbook company. I'll call them Magnum Matches and advertise them in Maxim.
Posted by matt[0] at November 11, 2004 10:44 PM
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Comments
I think the sniper could get a bead on the cigarette though. Bad news.
Posted by: buddha at November 11, 2004 11:44 PM
well, like they say, smoking kills.
Posted by: matt[0] at November 11, 2004 11:53 PM
so how does it feel now that you've written moronic post?
I don't think you need to write fiction to describe that sort of behavior. There are people in my office completely unaware that correlation does not equal causation.
Posted by: bcmalone at November 12, 2004 09:34 AM